I’m convinced that dating and drinking are the exact same things.

Now I’m not just saying this because the two belong together. Although they definitely do. I mean really, how awkward are first dates? Even going to a movie. You sit next to a semi-stranger who just paid for your $10 ticket and a two-hour opportunity to be overly self-aware in silence. The last time I enjoyed a movie with a man, it was with my dad. And it was only because we saw Transformers 3 in 3D at Alamo Drafthouse…and because he let me use the fun little note system to order as much overpriced food as I wanted.

No. The reason that drinking is like dating is similar to why women will go through childbirth more than once. Okay, so maybe that was a little confusing and a lot dramatic, but I think I’m on to something.

I guess I handle boy hangovers the same way that we all handle real hangovers. As we sit on the floor with our face in the toilet, we vow to never drink again. In those moments, just the thought or smell of alcohol physically makes us ill. And I think it’s safe to say that no one really talks about what happens between the toilet and the next drink.

The moment a bad relationship ends or the asshole with the “Los Angeles” tattoo decides you’re “too good for him,” we want to give up. We’re done. Boys are horrible heartless assholes, and we will never love again. Or maybe I’m the only who is that extreme. But I think a lot of us cling on to the most recent memory of an experience, whether that is the last time we drank or the last time we dated. Good night on 6th Street? Let’s go again on Sunday. Fun date with the neighbor? Let’s meet again on Tuesday. If a guy doesn’t text us back or a drink makes us sick, we’re suddenly done forever.

But next thing we know, we’re getting back on the horse. Which is a dumb metaphor, because if I fell off a raging horse, I wouldn’t touch it again. Regardless, being excessive about our drinking or our dating throws us into a nasty cycle of extremes.

I think growing up is about holding on to our passions but finding the gray areas in many aspects of life. The key lies in moderation. I’m the last person to be good at this and the first person to understand the importance of it. I’m hoping that turning 21 will bring with it an inflow of wisdom and balance. Drinking is now legal. I can order a margarita at Chili’s or a beer at Taco Cabana (although that’s a bit trashy). The rebellious aspect of the whole thing is gone.

Hopefully this changed relationship with drinking will help me be more casual about my alcohol inflow. And once I’ve got that down, I can moderate how I interact with boys. If you keep the ride slow and steady, falling off the dumb horse doesn’t really hurt so badly in the first place.