When is it the right time to take out the metaphorical trash?
Are you the kind of person who still has Beanie Babies? Or your entire collection of Pokemon cards? Well, Miss Daisy understands that sometimes hoarding things and boys is the easier thing to do.
Since a very young age, I’ve always been a bit of a hoarder. Not in a gross, ten hidden cats and old food kind of hoarder way, but I still have every birthday card I’ve ever gotten. There’s a box of Beanie Babies in my old closet and a binder of Pokémon cards I’m still convinced will be worth something one day.
Point is, I don’t like to get rid of something if I think it might be useful one day. If I think there’s a chance those old jeans might eventually fit me or someone will need to borrow my pink Power Ranger costume, you can bet your ass I’m keeping them.
Which brings me to dating. (Smooth transition right?) It seems that a lot of us, young people especially, go back and forth with the same people we’ve been with before. We may go months without talking to that one guy from freshman year, most likely with an adjective or location in front of his contact, and then suddenly you run into Bar Brad downtown, and next thing you know, you’re getting good morning texts and offers to hang out.
Or maybe it’s someone from even farther back. For some reason, college students just love to go back to those high school flames. Of course for me that involves dating a boy who is a skater by day, welder by night, and full-time resident of Bexar County as issued by his probation officer. I put all the blame for that one on Avril, the Disney Channel original movie Brink, and the Backstreet Boys song claiming, “if you want it to be good girl, get yourself a bad boy.”
Old school references aside, maybe the whole skater boy thing is still just a phase; it’s just taking longer than everyone thought it should to end. But that’s the thing about endings. They don’t feel right if they’re forced. I can’t walk away from a mystery, even if that means being the first person in kindergarten to ask where babies come from. It might be the journalist (or the wannabe Nancy Drew) in me, but I’m a very curious person. Until I absolutely KNOW things won’t work out with someone, it’s difficult for me to burn that bridge.
And I think that sometimes we hold on to things or people not because we’re waiting for the right moment to need them again, but because we’re waiting for the right moment to let them go. Hoarding isn’t necessarily about using everything you save. Hoarding is about the inability to let go.
The older we get, the more we realize the inevitability of letting go. Being an adult is full of sacrifices and choices. No longer do we get to have our cake and eat it to. Which is yet another stupid saying, by the way. What else would you do with cake if you’re not going to eat it?
Regardless, it’s okay to still have feelings for someone (or twenty-three Claire’s Boutique collectible boxes from 2002) and realize that they are no longer supposed to be a part of your life.
Don’t feel bad if you still have lingering questions about people from your past. Seeking the answers to those questions is the only way you can ever truly move on. Curiosity might have killed the cat, but at least she got closure in the process.