Lamesauce ... or is it?
The Horn introduces Brandon Greenspan, funny guy and writer for Esther's Follies. Oh, and he's also our new humor columnist. Mondays suck. Just click the damn article already.
Editor's Note: Our new comedy column, 120 Proof & Proofread, will highlight everything lol-worthy about UT, college, life, and whatever the hell else is relevant. Enjoy!
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As I enter my 4th year at UT, I can envision myself getting closer to that day in May when the tower is lit orange and I receive my diploma. Unfortunately, that day won’t be anytime soon. I'll be finishing up what I like to jokingly refer to as my "4th freshman year" next year. As one of the most senior members of such a distinguished freshman class (that will probably graduate before me), I'd like give a few tips on what makes us stand out as freshman.
Top 10 Ways You Know You're Still a Freshman
10. You actually fear the UTPD.
9. You actually fear the drag rats.
8. You actually say “Go Horns Go” during the fight song.
7. You pronounce the street names by their correct Spanish pronunciation.
6. You had sooooooo much fun that one Sunday night you went downtown at Club Vice.
5. You don’t jaywalk… yet.
4. You revolve your schedule around Kinsolving’s hours.
3. You can still count how many people of the opposite sex you’ve been with.
2. You still plan to count how many people of the opposite sex you will be with.
1. Hangovers take up an entire day.