You may know this already, but today is February 14th - Valentine's Day.

Now, this doesn’t mean it’s time to brag about being taken or whine about being single. I’m not even going to give the history of St. Valentine or the original intention of the day. Nope. It’s time to celebrate the excuse for a holiday of any sort.

We live in a time when being against Valentine’s Day has turned out to be more mainstream than actually liking it. So congratulations all you whining single bitches. You’re right. Consumerism and singlehood suck. Maybe if you’d stop complaining so much, you wouldn’t be single.

But Valentine’s Day isn’t about being alone or being with someone. Valentine’s Day is about the reason we all loved it when we were small children. No, not because life was simpler ... but because we were all cracked up on sugar. You know a sugar high is a real thing. Chemically. Scientifically. Some elementary schools have even banned fun dip. This, my friends, is what Valentine’s Day is all about.

According to Urban Dictionary, a sugar high is “the intense physiological effect of consuming too much sugar or glucose, usually in the form of cakes, cookies and soda; eating excessive amounts of sugar makes the brain release dopamine and endorphins, often inducing a mild sense of euphoria and happiness”.

There’s a reason Girl Scout cookie season falls around Valentine’s Day. It may take two to tango but it only takes one to finish a box of Thin Mints straight from the freezer. Plus, I use my single powers to convince my parents that Valentine’s care packages are something that is socially expected ... even at 21.

The only time I had a real date on Valentine’s Day was when the guy took me to a playground, where we swung on swings, talked about life, and ate ice cream cake. Two months into seriously dating I found out he was secretly back together with his ex. (Hey Facebook, thanks for the heads up on that one.)

Additionally, take the money you aren’t spending on a gift and spend it on alcohol ... and more chocolate of course. Don’t cry. Don’t bitch about being single or that it's the 'Hallmark creation' of the holiday. Suck it up and enjoy it for what you can.

And let’s not forget about one of the best parts of Valentine’s Day ... the day AFTER Valentine’s Day. The day when all of the Valentine’s candy is ridiculously discounted at HEB, Wal-Mart, Target, CVS, and wherever else you can find the candy hearts that taste like shaped TUMS.

I’m not going to deny that all of us have at least a small part that thinks about a romantic Valentine’s Day. Human beings are pack creatures. Fantasizing about some flawless date is normal. But unless you’re on The Bachelor and ABC is funding you, things might turn out a bit differently. And who really wants to be on The Bachelor anyway? I mean have you seen Bachelor Ben? I always say never to trust a man with a middle part.

So this Valentine’s Day, stop posting statuses about being single. Stop posting pictures of the dozen roses your boyfriend (or dad) sent you. Buy a pack of Laffy Taffy, load up on Cain and Abel’s dollar beer night, and cheers to all of the different kinds of love you are lucky enough to experience in your life.