Dear Koko,

Reading your question, I get the sense you’ve already spent a good deal of time thinking about your options. You hit the nail on the head when you said our two halves, the head and the heart, should balance each other. While it’d be ideal not to have to experience either extreme, it’s necessary to know exactly what it is you’re striving for. You can’t find the proper balance until you’ve gone too far in either direction.

Before you do anything, the first thing you should ask yourself is what it is you believe you’re missing in living by contemplative judgment. Do you think being more rash in your decisions will give them more import or yourself a broader spectrum? Or are you just chasing the TV fantasies of shows like Californication? Living by your heart will definitely make your life more interesting because you’ll never quite know what’s happening next, but you’ll lose any stability that you once had. Your relationships, your career, your ability to get out of bed will all be subject to the moment. The head evolved as a check against the changing desires of the heart. It protects you from that gut instinct that tells you to punch your roommate for leaving food in the garbage-disposal-less sink or for edge-guarding sans reason in Super Smash Bros. It prevents you from jumping up in the middle of the workday, stripping down, and running out the door screaming. In other words, it keeps you from making some very bad decisions.

It can also prevent you from doing anything whatsoever. If you’re always worried about how the chess game of life will progress ten moves down the board, you’ll be stuck trying to find the best move. Meanwhile, since our journey is dynamic and you’re choosing to stand still, life is going to pass you by. The key to striking a balance is to be found, once again, by just trying it out. Become a douchebag, see how it makes you feel. If you can live with spray tans, Tourette’s, and an ever-changing world of friends, stick with it. The rabbit hole is an imaginary place (well, duh). It doesn’t, and shouldn’t, govern your life. Assuming you don’t like being friendless (I’m talking about real friends, not just trashy, superficial acquaintances), you’ll know when you’ve gone too far. Too far for you, that is. When you can no longer stand yourself and see that you’ve become just a caricature of the person you always imagined you could be, let your head back into the mix. He’ll tell you when to keep your mouth closed (men, write this down for your girlfriend’s sake) or when it’s okay to push the issue (again men, write this down).

The only person that really has to like yourself is you. If you think action before thought will make you happier, follow that white rabbit. Do those six impossible things before breakfast. Your friends will understand. If you love who you become, who has the right to tell you to be someone else (note: this does not apply to criminals, know-it-alls, or overt pessimists)? Be cautious in burning bridges for a quick laugh or a good story, though. Naked you come into this world, and naked you’re going to leave, but it’ll be those people closest to you who’ll clothe you in times of need.