Dear Hard Times,

Listen, little lady. These opinions are about as important as a sweat stain tracing your ass crack. They make you a little uncomfortable and cause a few people to eye you strangely, but they don’t harm you in any serious way. Get over them. These people do not endure your love life. They never see your boyfriend’s growing beer gut, his tendency to collect sunflower seeds in his navel, or his toilet-time rendition of Kanye’s “Runaway,” which echoes throughout your apartment like a chorus of dogs. You do.

As long as you ended the relationship for legitimate reasons, stand by it. If others dislike this choice, you can explain it to them if you feel inclined to do so. If not, don’t. The choice is yours. You don’t have to defend axing your relationship to anyone. What matters is that you thought and still think it a good idea to show home slice the door and you ask others to respect your decision. If these people don’t, I have a wild suggestion for you: ignore them. Or, better yet, reply to their texts with the following: “I have eaten the children of your dreams, and I am picking my teeth with their bones.” Radio silence will very likely ensue.

Whatever you do, do not allow these people, who are likely hearing a sob story from your boyfriend, convince you to take him back. Every reason you had for your decision will likely resurface. You’ll cringe even harder every time he utters Tatooine, calls you Padme during sex, or whispers, “May the Force be with you,” after he climaxes far too early for you to enjoy yourself.

If you’re still worried about the hometown crowd, you shouldn’t be. If they’re adults, they will get over it. If they never forgive you, I suggest mailing them diapers for Christmas, complete with a runny Snickers bar inside. Perhaps by the time they’ve finished washing their hands, they will realize you are an adult capable of using her own judgment to make the best decision possible.

These are my words: abide.

Dr. Toughlove

Please send your questions to thedoc@readthehorn.com