It was the third time in one week that I had watched Lara Croft: Tomb Raider when I realized how much I truly love fighting. I should have realized this love for confrontation when I dressed up as her for Halloween in 5th grade…or began karate in 4th grade…but I always felt drawn to violent women (not sexually you pervs).

This fascination in my tweens ended up with six 13-year-olds throwing pillows on the floor, turning on a video camera and partaking in a full out wrestling tournament. Training bras were broken, arms were scratched and we left feeling a hell of a lot better than before.

When I tried to do the same in college to get out a little tension, my friends gave me the number to the UHS Mental Health line. My violent streak was going to have to end.

Fighting is an important part of communication and relationships. When two people are in a relationship of any sort, there are going to be opposing views. Being able to have a healthy fight shows that a relationship can go through conflict and come out alive.

But being able to fight the right way is something that takes constant work.

Fighting isn’t about who can scream the loudest or who can remain the calmest, it’s about finding a happy medium between two different people’s style of presenting an argument. Fighting words are just as much a part of communication as sweet talkin’.

Deciding what’s worth the fight should become easier the more mature you get. When you’re a young kid every little dispute seems worth fighting about. I had my fair share of preschool timeouts for insisting my eyes were green and NOT brown...and btw it’s BriANNA not BriAHHHNA.

After realizing that people really didn’t give a shit about how to pronounce my name and that guys rarely even look at my eyes anyways, I started to focus on being less of a testy little bitch.

It’s time to really start picking your battles wisely and stop making mountains out of molehills...which should be pretty easy because I’ve never seen a molehill in Austin.

The molehills we actually deal with seem to most often come in the form of digital communication. One-word messages, hours without responses or a day without a “miss you” text frequently stirs something in girls that makes us think we are doomed. But making large, sweeping generalizations based on texting is a mistake and will result in overly dramatic girl texts that will be regretted. And starting a fight over texting rarely ends well.

Sometimes being able to write out and read your thoughts can make arguing a more articulate experience. But when you take away body language and tone of voice it’s easy to lose a lot. It’s also hard to know what exactly is going on in the other person’s life the second they receive your slightly unimportant text about what you’re having for dinner.

This summer make it a point to try and handle conflict in a new and grown up way. Each relationship takes time and adjustments to understand the best way to solve problems. Enjoy the journey. As for me, I’ve realized my iPhone will never have a breathalyzer to prevent me from saying stupid and overly confrontational shit when I’m under the influence. I also came to terms with the fact that I will never be the Pink Power Ranger and have a moral excuse for violence. Looks like it’s finally time to start learning some self-control.