As I reflect upon the majority of my dating experience, it often feels like an immature and regretful blur of mistakes and rejections. Whether it involves restraining orders or mutual agreements to break up, most everything in life has an ending.

Dealing with that ending can often be a dirty, messy process full of slashed tires and crying naked on the bathroom floor....ya know?

But I think it’s really important to handle rejection following these few steps while also acknowledging the lessons and opportunities that can come from being turned down.

Step one, think of all the good things about yourself. Don’t ever let your immediate reaction to rejection be a negative or self-deprecating one (you can get to that part later). Before you start thinking of why you aren’t pretty enough, laid back enough, or good enough at the splits, take the time to reflect on the good qualities you possess.

Step two, think of all the bad things about the person that rejected you. Write a list about every tiny little thing that sucks about that person and then post it online along with any nudies you have of them. Jk.

But instead of dwelling on the good times, remember the bad. Think of the red flags and the times you were pissed off or annoyed. This isn’t to discredit who they are as a person but to help understand why it’s a good thing that the relationship is over and to get a full perspective on what you went through.

Step three, drink. A lot.

This will allow you to pretty much go through all the phases of rejection within a very short and sloppy time span. It will also provide a catalyst to getting out all of the crying that you need to do in order to emotionally climax your way to moving on.

Finally, enjoy the freedom! Think of all the time you’ll have now that you won’t have to Facebook stalk all the girls of his past! No more spending hours going through old tweets or trying to find his distant family members on Instagram to see if there are any picture of him with that one girl at that one wedding he said he went to alone...you have tons of time to find a new hobby, hang out with your friends and go out on the town.

The most important part of being rejected is using it to realize the things that work and don’t work for you in a relationship. Be mature and think of what you learned from the experience in order to keep growing and developing as a person. While one door closing might not always open another, it at least creates space in the bed for a new flame...or pillow pet...whatever you’re into.